Puzzle Pieces

Have you ever had a puzzle that is missing some pieces in different spots? That is how I have been feeling but I am slowly starting to pick up the pieces, I am not going to lie and say that it is easy because in reality it is not. I have been having a really hard time with things, but I am getting better everyday. I will get there one day.


Ethan is doing well he is so smart and an amazing little boy. So happy all the time except when he is tired. I took him to the county fair yesterday and he had so much fun.

"dud your spud"

He did such a good job!

He competed in a Watermelon Eating contest

Painted our face

Took a picture with a Llama

We had a great time at the fair!

9.5 years

The Five Year Plan,  Now that we have decided that having a second child is out of the cards for us. I have been working all weekend on trying to figure out what to do with myself. There has not been a time when I wasn’t dealing with pregancy, miscarraige infertiilty, it has always been there… I figured it out over the last 9.5 years (3458 days) we have:  

 So now that we are at a point where this particular journey is over, I have decided that I will really start working on my goal of building and opening a profitable store front Photography studio. Even though my personal mission of having a second baby is out the window, I am going to be really focusing on my Resolve Group. I feel like I was given my journey so that I could help those ladies, and if I really only help one of them then my job is done (all though I would like to help more). I am going to start focusing on my family and creating timeless memories, I am going to focus on getting my photography business up and running. I am going to focus on me, I need and want to get healthy I want to get back in shape, I want to feel good about myself again.

HAPP BIRTHDAY BABY BOY

I can not believe that I am writing this post. Has it really been two years since I held you for the first time? Have you really gone from this teeny tiny baby to an active no fear, fun loving toddler?

Ethan,

You are amazing in everyway, you light my life everyday. You are learning to talk learning new things everyday! You have made me so complete. I love you little buddy! Happy Birthday!

Happy Fathers Day!

My Dad, is the most amazing man I know, for those of you who do not know, my parents were divorced when I was young, and my mom married my step dad when I was 13, in the last 15 years, he has been the most remarkable dad. I love you dad!



My dad holding my son the day after he was born.

Reflection

It truly is amazing how life puts us in situtations that we don’t understand at the time but later life it becomes clear, that we suffered before so that we could help someone later.  I am not sure if there is a single reason that I have fought my fight, but I am finding that my fight had a purpose. My fight was meant to make me a stronger person. I have always been the rock of my family and that continues still today, but I am beginning to understand why.  I dealt with a touch childhood so that I would have unmatched faith in God, I served my country so that I could stand up proud, I dealt with infertility so that I could help others.  Without all of those things, I would not be who I am. I am embracing me today. I am an amazing women!

struggling with discpline

I am so stuck right now! I do not know what way to go when it comes to correcting Ethan and enforcing the rules. No one really knows this but I was severely abused and as child not by my mom but a former step parent and I have to say that it is always in the back of my mind. My husband is amazing,but he was raised in the country where a belt did the talking. I have so many mixed feelings on the issue of discpline.

1. Spanking: I think that yes there is a time and a place for it but not until the child is old enough to understand what does and does not warrant a spanking. On the flip side, because I was abused I would never want my child to have to feel that sort of pain, so I would never spank.
2. Time outs- Yeah we have been trying them and they worked great at first but now Ethan puts himself into time out (it is really cute) but he thinks they are fun now and it does not correct the issue.
3. Re-direction This has never worked for Ethan, he is very stubborn and will continue to go back to what ever he was doing that he shouldnt be doing no matter how many times I correct him.

Those are the 3 main things that I have in my arsonal, maybe it is just the age and he will chill out sometime by the time is 18 or maybe I am doomed I dont know. I wish that I had the answers. It makes me wonder if I would be capable of handling 2 kids. I mean I feel like I have lost control of Ethan and he is not even 2 (13 days) I guess I will just keep trying and keep praying that someday i will learn the answers.

Suggestions are welcome...

OWEEE!!!

I joined my wonderful husband on the range yesterday to do some tactical training. (he is a firearms instructor and we are both former military) We were joined by Lane, Mike and Jake all military guys, I totally out shot all of the guys it was great fun! All though karma has a way of popping up. I am so sunburned I can barely move! It hurts like crazy and I am miserable.

This is a quick post but just trying to keep my goal of posting everyday!